evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
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