dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
