he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
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