is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
