I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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