i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize