I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
