Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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