So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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