I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
