she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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