If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
That accounts for only three of the penises
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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