i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
