The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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