Who wears a wallet chain?!
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
