I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
