mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize