Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
