whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
