you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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