His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
