question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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