They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i dont even know how to be here
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
