That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
