never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
