Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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