I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
