Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
