Plan B is the new Plan A
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
