Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
