maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
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