is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Randomize
