you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Randomize
