It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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