i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize