oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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