Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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