So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
