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I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize