My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Randomize
