so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
