who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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