Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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