Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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