he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
