Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
It's official drugs can't kill me
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
