he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
she told me i tasted like america
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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