between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize