he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
