I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
