I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
