We're facebook friends in real life
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I pour the whiskey from now on
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
