I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize