Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
