feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize