I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
