We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I have fence marks all over my body
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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