I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
