This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
