So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
