mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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