walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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